


Patri-R

by LuckyBossuet



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Drag Queens, M/M, Other, i blame discord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24750976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyBossuet/pseuds/LuckyBossuet
Summary: I don't even know what this isbetad bymagic pianoanddemouriron tumblr
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables), Les Amis de l'ABC Friendship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Patri-R

The group of students (or menaces as Campus Security Chief Javert calls them) sat around in their usual hangout when the conversation turned to relationships.

“Courf, no one is surprised you’ve been on dates with more people, you used to be allergic to commitment,” Enjolras sighs, rolling his eyes fondly at his friends.

After the laughter dies down, Courfeyrac points out, “Ah yes, but Enjy-”

“I’ve asked you not to call me that.”

“- you’ve never _ been _ in a relationship, so you don’t know how fun it is to start one.”

“He’s right,” Jehan sighs wistfully, “the honeymoon phase is wonderful, everything’s so new. Plus there’s the joy of learning about someone you care about.”

Enjolras rolls his eyes, insisting that he doesn’t need to date someone to learn about them.

“I know far too much about you lot and I’m not dating you.”

Everyone starts jabbing and making jokes at Enjolras’ ‘inexperience’ when Grantaire arrives. Enjolras looks up at the door, causing everyone to hold their breath.

“Sorry I’m late, there was an issue with my application to a competition,” Grantaire explains.

He sits opposite Enjolras as the others fill him in on what was being talked about, including Enjolras’ perpetual singleness, before Bahorel cuts in.

“Wait, E, didn’t I see you leaving a club with a lady the other week?”

Enjolras looks up and smirks as Grantaire chokes on his ginger ale, “What do you mean?”

“Yeah it was last Thursday, maybe Friday? I was out with my girlfriend and I saw you leaving the back entrance of a club, Marcel’s I think, with a lady who looked a little more than friendly, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, yes, that was-” he pauses, flinching at something.

“Was that Patria?” Combeferre interrupts.

Everyone’s eyes turn to the bespectacled man who, up until now, had seemingly been ignoring the conversation in favour of his book.

“Patria?” Grantaire asks, turning red.

“Yes,” Combeferre continues, looking at everyone, “Enjolras mentioned to me last week that he was seeing someone named Patria on Friday, am I right in suspecting that was her?”

Enjolras chuckles, “Yes, that was Patria.”

This caused various catcalls and suggestive comments to come from various people, including Joly and Bossuet, loudly from Courfeyrac, and, surprisingly, from Feuilly.

“Well, ‘girlfriend’ isn’t exactly how I’d describe the relationship.”

Enjolras does finger quotes around the word ‘girlfriend’, almost shaking with held back laughter, which no one else seems to get.

“Pierre Phillip Enjolras-”

“You know that’s not my name, Courf.”

“Are you saying you’re in a  _ friends with benefits _ situation?” Courfeyrac gasps, one hand on his chest as if he’s about to faint.

“No, it’s just that Patria doesn’t want to be called my girlfriend,” Enjolras shrugs off the question while checking his phone. “Anyway, I gotta go. Class.”

Enjolras picks up his bag and waves to everyone on his way out, saying he’ll see them at the meeting tonight.

No one but his target sees the wink he sends to the end of the table.

##  [PM to Enjolras]

**To Enjolras:** Hey, are we still doing this at Courf’s party this weekend?

**From Enjolras:** Yeah, will you wear that dress from the other week? I liked how you looked in it.

**To Enjolras:** sure, if you wear that tie, i want to tie you up w/ it after

**From Enjolras:** You can’t just say things like that, i’m about to go into class

**From Enjolras:** ...okay

On Saturday, everyone was already tipsy before Enjolras arrived, however, he and his guest were slightly late, as they had gotten slightly distracted when Enjolras had been picked up.

Enjolras knocks on the door to Courfeyrac and Marius’ apartment, trying to keep a straight face when Marius answers, his jaw-dropping when he sees who Enjolras is with.

“Hello Marius.” 

Enjolras and Patria make their way in, laughing as everyone stops their conversations to stare.

Enjolras’ companion wears an outfit that demands attention. A shining emerald skirt, the satin waving between legs, and heels that add a good few inches. The silky blouse adds an air of elegance to the outfit, it is the same tone as the eyeshadow, a deep blue that brings out the eyes that the makeup is framing. A deep red lipstick has been applied carefully onto a mouth surrounded by black stubble. 

Grantaire waves, “Hello, I’m Patria.”

Enjolras folds over, cackling at the looks on his friends’ faces, nearly pulling Grantaire down, one hand still holding his boyfriend’s.

Courfeyrac nearly drops his glass, “Wait, what?” he exclaims, “You and- Grantaire is- what!”

Enjolras calms down enough to only occasionally giggle during his explanation.

“R and I, we started dating a few weeks ago - hehe - and -ha! - he does drag sometimes, and-” was all he manages before collapsing into laughter again.

“What my boyfriend is trying to say,” Grantaire’s eyes light up at calling Enjolras his boyfriend, “is that we started dating about a month ago and were waiting to tell people to make sure it’d actually work.”

He leads Enjolras to a chair to calm down, “We were going to tell people tonight anyway, but when we realised ‘Rel saw Enj leaving the club with me, dressed in drag, we thought it’d be fun to mess with you.”

“There’s a lot to unpack here, R,” Bossuet starts, “Firstly, you do drag?”

“Yeah, the makeup feels like doing art, it’s kinda freeing.”

“Cool, secondly, who the hell is Patria then?” Joly continues.

Enjolras has calmed down enough to answer this one, “Patria is R’s drag name, so technically, Bahorel did see me with someone named Patria, it’s just that it was a persona, not a person.”

They sit in silence, as everyone takes things in, before Courfeyrac breaks it.

“I only have one thing to say,” Enjolras and Grantaire hold their breath as Courfeyrac steps closer, his not very tall frame bearing over them, “Congratulations!

“I’m a bit put out you guys didn’t tell us sooner, but we’re happy for you!” Courfeyrac almost bounces with glee at the fact that his two friends had finally gotten together.

After that, the party continues almost as if nothing had happened, except that a certain cynic and a certain revolutionary decide to sit together more than usual and, near the end of the night, they disappear out the apartment door, with not nearly as much subtlety as they think.


End file.
